We asked AI for creative ways Wolves could avoid relegation this season - its answers intrigued us

Wolverhampton Wanderers suffered their second Premier League loss in a row on Wednesday night, as they were comfortably beaten 3-0 by Newcastle United at St. James' Park.

The result sees Vitor Pereira's side lie 18th in the Premier League table with the two sides above them, Ipswich Town and Everton, both having a precious game in hand over the West Midlands side.

With a brutal run of top tier fixtures on horizon, in which they will face Chelsea, Arsenal, Aston Villa and Liverpool in that order, it seems inevitable that Wolves will remain embroiled in the relegation scrap until at least the end of winter. On top of that, the club have the concern of holding onto their key players, as the January transfer window reaches its midway point.

So, just how exactly do the Molineux side get out of their predicament? Sign some new players, perhaps. Win some games, obviously. But there must be some other ways they can tip the scales in their favour.

On the hunt for answers, we fired up our AI assistant of choice (who we shall henceforth refer to as Clive), and tasked the helpful robot with finding some left-field ways in which Wolves to avoid sinking down into the Championship at the end of the 2024/205 season.

What does AI think Wolves can do to beat the drop?

Let's get one thing straight - if lighthearted whimsy is not your cup of tea, you may wish to now take your leave. Given some creative license, Clive produced a four-point plan that truly pushed the boundaries of offbeat and quirky.

First up? The 'Puppy Power Play'. Yes, you read that correctly. Unhinged from the get-go, Clive suggested: "Wolves could bring actual wolves (or well-behaved dogs) onto the pitch before matches to create a unique atmosphere, boost team morale, and perhaps throw off opponents with some unexpected canine companionship."

Nothing says 'unique atmosphere' like attempting to herd a pack of rabid wolves around a football pitch without an fatalities occurring. Well-behaved dogs? That could just about work. As long as there aren't any 'presents' left on the penalty spot by the hounds in question.

Ploughing on with its suggestions, our beloved Clive weighed straight in with another cracker, dubbing it 'The Molineux Maze'. Explaining its pick, Clive offered: "Turn parts of Molineux Stadium into a giant maze where opposing teams must navigate to reach the pitch, slightly delaying their warm-up and potentially affecting their game strategy."

Obvious building and planning permission logistics aside, can you imagine how furious Everton’s David Moyes would be if faced with a pre-match labyrinth? If Matheus Cunha gets a two-match ban for a post-match scuffle, it seems likely that Wolves would get a points deduction for temporarily entrapping their opponents as part of a pre-match ruse.

How else could Wolves seek to avoid relegation?

Sensing we were less than impressed with its opening suggestions, Clive was forced to offer its most radical suggestion yet - 'The Wolves Howl Signal'.

Summarising this choice as if it were the most natural thing in the world, AI Clive, at this point very much stretching the use of the 'I' in its initialism, cheerfully elucidated: "Implement a strategy where every time Wolves regain possession, a howl is played over the stadium speakers. This could serve as a psychological cue for both the team and fans to ramp up the pressure."

A howl over the stadium speakers. Every time Wolves regain possession. Pereira would be storming off down the tunnel before you could say 'immensely irritating gimmick'. You also have to spare a thought for the poor person running the PA system, finger poised on the trigger of the howl for the full ninety minutes - air traffic controllers have an easier ride.

Did Clive have one more golden suggestion in the pipeline? You bet it did. Clearly of the opinion its groundbreaking ideas would change the face of football as we know it, Clive laid all his cards on the table with one final flourish. Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you, the 'Lucky Molineux Muffin'.

Even as avid viewers of The Great British Bake Off, we must confess that a 'fortune muffin' wasn't on our radar of baked goods. Clive clearly knows its stuff, however, and was keen to fill us in on this landmark discovery.

Clive insisted: "Introduce a tradition where the team mascot hands out muffins to players before each match, claiming they're "fortune muffins" that guarantee a win. This could be a fun way to boost morale and create a quirky team ritual."

It would take a braver man than me to hand a muffin to a Wolves player, after they prepare to respond from losing five or so matches on the bounce. It's hard to see morale being boosted by Joao Gomes, for example, hurling a muffin into the face of a distraught Wilfred, Wendy or Wolfie and getting them into a headlock just before kick-off.

So there we have it, AI has given its verdict on how Wolves can avoid relegation this season. I don't know about you, but winning some matches probably seems a safer bet.