Valentine’s Day 2023: Seven things I learned from dating in Birmingham

I recently returned to Birmingham after over 15 years in Asia and The Middle East and promptly set about finding that elusive male companion for movie marathons, spa days and Bridget Jones worthy weekends away in the plush English countryside.

Having been single for longer than I care to remember, I’ve definitely had my fair share of frog kissing! There was the guy who took me for a coffee but made me buy my own drink whilst he lamented over his poor credit rating.

The one who asked me to leave the table after I’d paid for his dinner. And let’s not forget the one who asked me to cook him meat after I told him I was vegan.

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, here are some top tips for a successful dating future:

1) Don’t judge a book by its cover:

I know this is easier said than done, but hear me out. Not everyone takes perfect selfies and some people just don’t know what to write about themselves.

This doesn’t mean they’re not great people. By giving people a real chance to chat with you, you increase your chances of finding the right person. Most dating apps even allow for video calls these days - so you can always have a virtual date before deciding whether to meet in real life.

2) Being romantic doesn’t have to be expensive:

We have a plethora of cool activities within a couple of hours of Birmingham. In the summer you can catch an outdoor movie at a stately home or visit a neighbouring town for lunch and a walk along the canal/river.

My top winter pick is warm up at The Russian Sauna in Wolverhampton. For under £45 you can enjoy 2 hours in a private sauna and the chance to “whip” your loved one with the leaves of the birch tree. Definitely makes for a unique date!

3) You can stay at a luxury hotel for under £100:

In December I secured the 4* Castle Bromwich Hall Hotel for just £70 on booking.com. So why not create a romantic night in for two - run your partner a bath and order room service. Or have a “get to know you session” where you each write 3 questions on pieces of paper and take turns to answer.

4) Don’t ignore red flags and always have an exit plan:

I find it so refreshing that so many bars have taken initiatives to protect women who are on a date that they don’t feel comfortable with. We certainly didn’t have anything like this in my younger years. As women we also have to do our part by watching out for red flags, letting a friend know when we’re going on a date and always meeting in a public place, especially for the first encounter.

5) Visiting an exhibition/performance is a great date idea:

I’ve always been a fan of doing activities on dates; whether it’s skating, bowling or snooker. It’s a good way to loosen up those nerves and you get to see more of your date’s personality. An exhibition or live arts performance is a great date idea as the subject matter can spark interesting conversations.

I recommend checking the websites of Midland Arts Centre, in Edgbaston, and the Kitchen Garden Cafe, in King’s Heath, as both have regular events ranging from spoken word, classes and live performances. Also at Sarehole Mill you can explore a working mill and then enjoy freshly baked pizza in a private igloo (make sure to book in advance).

6) There are some fun late night activities:

I was on a date that was going really well. As the clock struck 10pm, my date asked me “what would you like to do now?”. I was mortified! I mean to say, it was a Sunday night and this is Birmingham, not London! “Surely there isn’t anything open?” I thought. Well I’d be wrong! So in case you end up in the same predicament, here are a few recommendations:

• Bowling/pool @ Star City, Erdington - until midnight weekdays/1am Fri & Sat
• Mini golf @ Golf Fang, Digbeth - until midnight daily.
• Sheesha lounge @ Sheesha Garden, Selly Oak or Babylon Shisha, City Centre - until 1 or 2am daily.
• Dessert Lounge @ Donut’s n’ Chai, Newtown - until midnight weekdays/1am Fri & Sat

7) Date yourself first:

Don’t get frustrated if your partner can’t do something with you. Investing time in yourself makes you a happier person and in turn a better date. Why not try a class, go to a new venue or volunteer for a worthy cause. You will be happy that you didn’t miss out and you’ll have a new experience to share with your other half.

Josephine Kenyon-Blair is a down to earth culture connoisseur and globetrotter who recently returned to Birmingham after over 15 years in Asia and The Middle East. In her spare time she enjoys traveling, curating events and restaurant hopping.